Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Love is responsible

“Today is about personal responsibility.  It’s something we all agree others should have, but we struggle to maintain it ourselves.  We tend to believe that our views are correct, or at least much more correct than our mate’s.  And we don’t believe that anybody, given our same set of circumstances, would act much differently than we have.  As far as we’re concerned, we’re doing the best we can.  And our spouse just ought to be glad we’re as good to them as we are.  But love doesn’t pass the blame so easily or justify selfish motives.  Love is not nearly as concerned with its own performance as with others’ needs.  When love takes responsibility for its actions, it’s not to prove how noble you’ve been but rather to admit how much further you have to go.  Love doesn’t make excuses.  Love keeps working to make a difference – in you and in your marriage.  The next time you’re in an argument with your spouse, instead of working up your comebacks, stop and see if there’s something worth listening to in what your mate is saying.  Love is responsible and is willing to admit and correct its faults and errors up front.  Love calls us to take responsibility for our partner in marriage.  To love them.  To honor them.  To cherish them.  Part of taking responsibility is admitting when you’ve failed and asking for forgiveness.  It’s time to humble yourself, correct your offenses and repair the damage.  It’s an act of love.  To do it sincerely you must swallow your pride and seek forgiveness regardless of how your spouse responds.”

Today’s Dare:  Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing.  Ask for God’s forgiveness, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse.  Do it sincerely and truthfully.  Ask your spouse for forgiveness as well.  No matter how they respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love.  Even if they respond with criticism, accept it by receiving it as counsel.

An example from our relationship:  When Steve and I first starting dating, he had some trouble figuring out the difference between a “comment” and a “compliment.”  My mother and grandmothers have always said, “If you don’t have something nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.”  Steve, apparently, had not heard this.  If it popped into his mind, it came out of his mouth.  Now that I know him better, I understand him and know that his comments are not intended to offend or hurt me.  They’re merely observations which failed to get sensored before being spoken.  In learning this about Steve, I also learned that I take things too seriously too much of the time.  I too often get offended over little things that should have just rolled right off of my back.  I am learning to relax and allow people to make mistakes.  I am learning to forgive more quickly.  And my wonderful Steve, who has always been quick to forgive and easy to get along with, is learning to think before speaking.  lol  We are both a work-in-progress, but we are learning.  Our marriage is wonderful, and we are blissfully happy.  I love being able to talk to my husband openly and honestly.  I know that he loves me and that he always will.

No comments: