Thursday, June 18, 2009

Norton The Second Part 2

So I've been a little busy with the baby and all -- but as promised more on my forthcoming proclamation that I shall be known as the second Emperor of the United States.

No doubt you'll recall this fine looking chap! Yes the first Emperor of the United States (self proclaimed). He held meetings, had representatives, and sent his imaginary Army to the halls of Congress countless times in an attempt to put a stop to their foolishness up there in DC.

Let me also remind you that he had ridiculous proclamations, like the one fining people for referring to San Fransisco as 'Frisco.' I believe his wording referred to the word Frisco as meaningless, and without definition.

Let me share with you some more fun facts. He spent his days meandering around town, riding the trolleys, and inspecting public areas. He would approach Policemen and inspect their uniforms for proper appearance and cleanliness. Most of them allowed this behavior, but one day a particular officer was not amused. He arrested the good Emperor for disorderly conduct, and hauled him to jail.

Oh the outrage that ensued, the police chief immediately released the Emperor, issued a public apology -- gave the Emperor a new uniform (as the one he had been given from an Army officer ten years earlier was getting a bit tattered), and he ordered the Police Force to salute the Emperor in passing.

Too funny -- he really had all these people eating out of the palm of his hand. He then decided to try something ingenious, he started printing money!
Just crazy, isn't it? Would you believe that business owners in Frisco accepted these bills as legal tender? Anyway Emperor Norton spent the remainder of his days essentially penniless and living off of the charity of others. Since he lavished the finer things in life he decided to become a food critic.

The Emperor proclaimed that establishments were not fit to eat at unless he gave it his seal of approval. Almost immediately restaurateurs were begging the Emperor to come and dine at their restaurant, if he liked the food he would sign his plate and hang it on the wall -- that's all it took, that was the seal of approval.

So basically the guy was an idiot. Although a smart idiot, he left a legacy, it was originally his idea for the Golden Gate Bridge, he must have been a good leader - as there were thousands of people the respected him, and his self imposed position.

In passing his funeral expenses were paid for the businessmen of Frisco, there were 30,000 people in attendance. Although I would love to claim the blood line and become the second Emperor of the US, he didn't have any children; making that virtually impossible. Besides I really don't have time -- perhaps I'll run for the position of HOA President, or something a little more manageable.

I hope you have a splendid weekend


1 comment:

Valerie said...

Ha! This was a fun read, fo' sho'. I still think somehow you must be related though -- not because of the idiot part, haha, but because you're both awfully interesting individuals. :)