ARRRGHH

These people are exhausting

So I've been thinking for the last few months that our house is almost two years old now, and with most of it floored with barely off white carpet its probably best to have it cleaned to keep the barely off white -- just barely off white.

Now that we are all confused; yesterday while picking up a pizza from Brooklyn Pizzeria -- our favorite authentic NYC pizza joint, I saw one of the dreadful signs (you know the ones a little wire frame some plastic board, a little vinyl lettering and WALA, a business is born), the sign said "Carpet Cleaning -- 3 Rooms $60.00"

I quickly added up in my head just how many rooms REALLY needed to be cleaned, and since there was no maximum sq footage requirement we really only had three (the living room should probably count for two by itself, but their rules not mine)

I save the phone number in my phone under the contact "Carpet Cleaning" -- then while Amy is in the post office, I decide what better time than now to book a cleaning appointment.

Fast forward 18 hours. The guy shows up, he is nice enough; but much to my chagrin he shows up in a pickup (aren't carpet cleaning machines usually mounted in a van, I say to myself), not this one. This one is a little grey contraption he rolls out of his pickup and into my garage, it says HOME DEPOT TOOL RENTAL on the side, he needs an extension cord (one of mine, he didn't bring one), I offer my most durable cord and supervise the setup process. He begins the process and I wander from the weed pulling duties in the flower bed, to the kitchen for a drink of water, (per my wife's instructions [he should be watched] I look at him through the window, he doesn't know I can't see him through the glare on the window, but he knows he is being watched.) after wandering back and forth for about 40 minutes I sit at the kitchen table and start reading a book.

He then turns off his machine, indicating that he has finished. Now keep in mind that I usually have a problem starting conflict (someday I'll post about the time I paid a cabbie $40 plus a $5 tip when his placard clearly said the fee should only be $20) but he said "Lets see what we got here," he then puts a bucket under the dump valve on his little roller carpet cleaning machine that says HOME DEPOT TOOL RENTAL on the side, and clearly opens it, and clearly nothing comes out. He plays it off, and looks in the machine and kind of huffs and start rolling up his hoses, and I say "Was there no waste water?" (perfect opportunity to admit a mistake) he says "Yeah, I haven't dumped it yet!"

Clearly he is lying, I watched the valve open, I saw nothing come out, I looked in the machine (while he was inside the house 'Looking to make sure he didn't leave anything') it looked brand new, not one drop of water in the part of the machine where clearly you would expect water to be. I then walk on the carpets with my socks (its like walking through a swamp), they are soaking wet. I now know that I have to man up and confront this guy; I nervously sit on the freezer in the garage while he begins rolling up his hoses, and I finally say it, "Yo man, before you roll all that up can you show me the waste water, because your face kind of said it all," he's like yeah it wasn't hooked up right or something."

So now as I type this he is starting over (spraying no additional water), but sucking up lots and lost of dirty water. Sometimes a guy has got to stand up for himself, you know what I mean.

On a lighter note, my wife is so sweet - all these little things that I do for her she appreciates so much, and I appreciate her appreciating them. The charm bracelet is lots of fun for me; if ever I am at a loss for what to get her, a charm it is. And she loves them; they mean SO MUCH to her; I'm glad to do it.

Coming very soon pictures of me on a Candy Red Vespa with Pearl White Trim -- and the story of how and why, and oh how ridiculous I look.

More to come