Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Love believes the best

"Love chooses to believe the best about people. It gives them the benefit of the doubt. It refuses to fill in the unknowns with negative assumptions. And when our worst hopes are proven to be true, love makes every effort to deal with them and move forward. As much as possible, love focuses on the positive... You must develop the habit of reining in your negative thoughts and focusing on the positive attributes of your mate. This is a crucial steop as you learn to lead your heart to truly love your spouse. It is a decision that you make, whether they deserve it or not."

For today's dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.

When Steve and I were engaged we decided that we would always be one another's biggest fan. We look for the best in one another and cheer each other on. We encourage each other to follow our dreams. We don't bash one another, privately or publicly.

Neither of us is perfect. There are things we do to get on each other's nerves, but we overlook those things, if possible. If necessary, we discuss the problem or issue and decide together how to work it out. We listen to each other. We are quick to forgive one another. We don't let things fester. We deal with the issue while it's an issue rather than pulling it out later. This keeps us from growing bitter toward one another. It helps us to focus on the best in each other.

I completed my lists, and I am happy to say that my positive list for Steven is MUCH longer than my negative list.

I love you, Steven!


I completed my part of the dare as well. It's no fun thinking about the negatives in your spouse. But a dare is a dare, obviously my positive sheet is also much longer than my negative sheet --we will see what tomorrow has in store.


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