Stay Smart!

I'm pretty sure that's the motto of the Holiday Inn I'm staying at today "Stay Smart"-- they are so proud of their shower heads. Every time I get a survey about my stay at a Holiday Inn it asks about the shower head. Not in a normal way like:

"Rate the shower"

no no -- more like this

"Please rate our new highly acclaimed state of the art Smart Shower Head by KOHLER® with three modes, and message capability! You'll recall it looked like this!"

The question is loaded to say the least -- after the glowing review they give it I hate to tell them that sometimes it feels like getting in a shower of needles and tacks, as the lime deposits build up in this thing its like stepping into a torture chamber. I can deduce from the straight even beams of water emitting from the photographed example that this shower head probably has less than 1 minute of use EVER. To say the least these shower heads seem to be lacking the preventative maintenance they obviously require -- this morning I turned it on and there was water shooting at the mirror across the room.

If I was guessing this hotel is probably two years old at the most and I was forced to use my least favorite mode -- what I like to call

"The Elephant Peeing" mode -- where I stand under an uncomfortable pummel of water, and have to move around to get wet. If you've stayed at a ICH Hotel Group property recently I'm sure you can relate~

Speaking of elephant peeing a quick story. Aunt Jill took me to the circus for my first time when I was about 9 or 10 years old -- I remember standing behind a line of elephants in awe at their size -- then without warning (if there was a warning I didn't recognize it) one of the large mammals let loose of its bladder. Oh the deluge, and as the urine splashed onto the ground I began to get sprayed with the offensive liquid. As I stood there dumbfounded Aunt Jill called for me and I was able to escape the impromptu shower.

The story gets a little funnier (and longer) when I mention that the next day there was a picture of me from behind posted on the front page of the newspaper. Not only did this clever photographer have a good eye for child models, but he just happened to snap the picture at the exact moment of splashdown.

The headline read "Circus Makes a Splash" Oh if only we would have kept that newspaper LOL.

Now your stupid gadget of the day

Of course its a small hand powered circular saw for guys that will only use appliances that look like tools. This could really offend some women -- the very notion that a saw would be required to cut something that they cooked!