Friday, August 1, 2008

Oh yes armpit noises

Well here I am sitting in Washington DC at the Dulles airport, of course waiting for a flight. My mind is full of things to post about but this one takes the cake. These boys across from me are making nonchalant armpit noises. When I was little we made these noises just to show that we could and usually the louder the better. These kids have taken it to a whole other level. They have perfected every possible flagellant noise known to man, and are walking around the seating area discretely demonstrating their abilities, and then of course giggling. I’m a little jealous, is it wrong to give them an encouraging grin?

Yesterday I was on a mission; I decided I was going to (finally) hang the speakers for our living room television. Mind you we have lived in our house two years as of 7/28. I could have installed these speakers during our tolerable outside week in January. Or perhaps during the survivable month of February, but no, I decided to install these speakers at the end of July in Houston, TX. Perhaps I should remind myself of one of my classic posts ‘It’s Getting Hot in Here.’

So I awoke, went running on the treadmill (it’s too hot outside for all that), and then decided I would climb in the attic and begin the process of wiring and hanging five speakers from the ceiling. My personality type requires that if a project is within sight of completion, it must be completed without any delay (I’m reminded of the laundry room construction project that was only going to take a weekend, it took nine months).

Anyway I started at 8AM and the attic was warm, it was hot at 9AM, sweltering at 10AM (yes I was still in the attic over two hours later), and at 11AM it was stifling. Guys can relate, this was only going to take about thirty minutes. But of course one thing led to another and before it was all said an done I needed two drills, four drill bits, a hole saw, and of course a Saws-all.

Right about the time I was nearly done in the attic my phone rang, it was work, I was on call yesterday and sadly I was going to have to go in (the nerve). But I was in luck I had two hours to complete my project before I had to leave. The end was in sight so I put it in hyper drive and managed to finish hanging the speakers. They aren’t hooked up to anything, and who knows if they will work. But I was satisfied that I had at least finished the hard part of the task I set out to do.

Fast forward to Charlottesville, VA, we arrived in Charlottesville at 3AM in an empty airplane and me in my most classic golfing attire (I don’t know why I was wearing that it just seemed fun). There is of course nobody to greet us when we bring the airplane up near the gates, but having never been to this airport I had no idea where to park or anything. We waited on the ramp for twenty minutes, nobody is answering any phones and we are feeling ignored. So I tell the guy that I’m flying with, “I know how to get someone out here to help us.” I decided I would exit the airplane and walk around the other parked airplanes on the ramp, surely security will see me and I will achieve my objective of getting some assistance.

Now this story could go several ways, the guy I was flying with thought I was crazy. After-all I was probably rather suspicious looking in my plaid shorts and spiked hair. But lucky for me it worked like a dream. I exited the airplane in my most classic golfing attire, began to walk towards some other airliners and within moments a very nice police man showed up. He helped us park and in no time we were sound asleep at the Double Tree (the cookies are just okay, not a big fan of nuts in cookies). I want you all to know that security in Charlottesville, VA is rock solid. It turns out the trusty gate agents we were counting on to greet us on our arrival fell asleep (probably while earning overtime pay). They didn’t apologize; they just pointed the way towards the exit.


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