Friday, September 5, 2008

ITS FRIDAY!!! "Shopping Cart Police"

I am so excited about the weekend, although I am not sure why as I will be 'working' until Sunday afternoon. I have a few minutes and thought I would squeeze in one more post. This one shall be known as 'Shopping Cart Police."

I'm sure all our faithful readers remember Birthday Fun. I took my wife to the outlet center and she had the most wonderful time exchanging money for goods. One place that we spent a lot of time and exchanged a lot of money for a lot of goods was the Pottery Barn/William Sonoma Outlet. Here is the problem with this store. It is very big, probably twice the size of your local Sam's Club (have you noticed I can relate everything to Sam's Club on some level?) anyway the store was big and the shopping cart supply was very low, in fact I would go as far as to say dangerously low.

As Amy's arms began to fill with wonderful goods, she implored me to please do my very best to locate a shopping cart (I bet some of you crazy blog readers call them buggies, but that is a whole other post). So I embark on a journey to find a cart. I look and look, and finally find one. I make my way over to it only to be cut off by an elderly citizen who had a few goods of her own. While I momentarily considered taking the cart despite her need, I quickly and graciously offered to let her take it.

After about ten more minutes of scouring the store I come to the conclusion that there are no carts free in the store, and begin to wonder what I will do. I make my way to the front of the store thinking that possibly there will be a cart in the cart parking area. To my dismay there aren't any carts, and there appears to be a line. Yes people are actually lined up to collect carts from people that are checking out. "This is crazy," I think to myself. Always the problem solver I look just outside the store and notice two ladies walking away from the entrance with a cart.

I conclude that I will be the nicest guy ever and follow them to their car, perhaps help them unload their bags, and then bring the cart back. As I exited the store I noticed at least three signs in large font that warned customers NOT TO REMOVE THE CARTS FROM THE STORE. Since it's hot outside and Amy is probably about to collapse under the weight of the goods she is collecting I quickly decide that in the interest of self preservation I will not in fact follow them to wherever they may be parked, but instead I will just take the cart from them.

I know it sounds mean and it probably is a little mean, but they only had two little bags, and rules are rules. So I approach from behind, making sure that I am out of ear shot of the entry to the store and I call out "Ma'am ..... ma'am," they both turn (likely a mother daughter pair) looking shocked. "I'm so sorry," with a smile "but you cannot take the carts out of the store." "We are going to bring it back," they say in unison. "I'm sure you would but its just not allowed to remove them from the store, again I am very sorry, but as a service to you I will take it back for you." They exhaustively pull out their two bags and huff off down the sidewalk, and I think to myself "Mission accomplished."

As I proudly strut towards the store I notice several ladies clamoring towards me, begging to have my cart, this is insane how Pottery Barn treats their customers! When queried I simply reply "I went out and got this cart for my wife," (acting all annoyed). They relent and I rescue Amy and the shopping continues.

While some people may think what I did was wrong, I would remind them that its only an accident in career paths that I'm not actually a cart inventory monitor at the Pottery Barn in San Marcos, TX. I easily could have been that guy, I was just filling a necessary role. The best part was at checkout. I can't tell you how tempted I was to charge a fee for our cart. I envisioned an auction, and I bet some people would have paid, of course I would have donated all monies to charity.

If the two ladies I took the cart from are reading, I'm sorry. I repent and will try hard to resist this kind of temptation in the future. If I were them I would have turned around and said, "Okay well we will take it back to the store, you shouldn't have to." That would have lead to a hilariously nervous dialogue, me like "No, really let me," and them "Seriously its our mistake we should have to walk it back." And in the end someone else getting the cart no doubt.

Have a great weekend -- and remember Amy has an announcement (I'm sure it isn't what your thinking), I think you may hear from her on Monday!


Valerie said...

That is hilarious. Now, is it really that big of an outlet? I may have to make my way down to San Marcos sometime soon, hmmm...but I'll be sure to steal my own cart from the grocery store to take with me, hahaha.

I'm sure everyone else was thinking what I was thinking on Amy's announcement, so now you've really got my interest peaked!

Hope you guys have a great weekend - work or no work. :)

Happily Ever After said...

Valerie - Yes, it really is worth a trip down to visit the outlet. Come stay with us! Now that I'm unemployed, we have plenty of time to shop!!! It would be so much!